Sunday 3 November 2013

I go through phases

where sometimes I have heaps to say and other times not so much.

Has been one of the latter these last few days.

It isn't that there has been nothing to say. Not at all. Quite the contrary in fact. But sometimes I guess that love of all things quiet extends to "talking it out" by means of this blogly avenue.

So in that regard I had a quiet few days. And then I started to get antsy and need to talk about stuff and so I'm back.

Halloween aftermath has been insane. So. Much. Candy. But the kids have been incredibly restrained. There have been only a few stealth incidents of sly candy munching, discovered purely by accident due to the inadvertent minute morsel of whatever said candy was deftly flying onto a t-shirt or pyjama cuff. Or eyebrow. Yes. I know. Eyebrow.

And as soon as it was discovered there was an instant apology and I think that's pretty cool. So all was forgiven.

We've had a busy few days. Today we went and did a rellie visit which was quite possibly the best rellie visit we have had in a while, save for the odd weather. It was just relaxed which is the best way to be methinks. Too often too much emphasis is placed on the what and where and how and why and who and too little on the letting it be and enjoying it. I also managed to grab some sensational and natural pics, which for me is a huge thing as I adore those type of photos. When you look back at them you don't just think "Oh that is my baby at x age" you are physically transported back - you can hear their laughs, feel their joy and re-experience the entire moment. Those are the pictures that mean the world. Because they are an actual capture of the spirit, not just the locale and participants.

Lil man ate an adult's serve meal today. In entirety. His appetite certainly has grown.

Miss 4 is getting her 6 year old molars. I guess she is pretty advanced so I shouldn't be surprised. I didn't even think of it to be honest, until my sister in law saw that she was clingy and a little out of sorts and suggested that perhaps she may be getting the molars.

Cue bad mother moment feeling. Didn't even think of it.

Worse bad mother moment feeling? When my sister, after taking both girls over to the shops with her, got them each 2 fabulous pairs of shoes, and let me know that they were both in the wrong size. And it was a big difference. Ba bow. Mummy mega fail.

So on the way back home I had a good hour in the car to mentally berate myself, as mothers do. Then just as the hour was coming to a close the mental berating also came to a close because when you think about it, what does it achieve? Does it change what has been? No. Does it make you feel any better? Hell no. So why do we do it? Have a moment. Move on. That's my theory from here on in.

I have mentioned before about when children get words slightly wrong.

One such word created a veritable tornado in my mind when Master 3 mentioned that there was a frog in Miss 4's backside.

Um. I beg your pardon?

"There's a frog in her backside."

This I had to hear.

"Why does she have a frog in her backside?"

"To take to school for show and tell."

Ok.

"Do you mean backpack?"

"Yes, backpack!"

Other times you realise just how much attention the kids pay to the things you say.

Miss 4 was sitting on the floor and had a pipe cleaner bracelet in her hand.

"I'm going to put this on but I'm not going to put it on to tight because if I do I'll cut off my circulation."

Well done mini chick. You're exactly right. But wow.

I am truly constantly amazed at the things these little folks say, and do.

Today in the car Miss 5 asked me why I made them.

I said to her that I had so much love in my heart to give that I just had to make them so that I could give them all that love.

And Miss 4 adds "And hugs"

And Miss 5 adds "And kisses"

And Master 3 adds "Yeah!!! And hugs!"

And it is moments like these, in the moments I realise just how very much I love these little humans, that I do get a little bit emo. I get a bit of a tear in my eye. Same as when I'm watching Tangled and I realise that the princess's real mother and father lost their child for so very many years, and I think how I just couldn't cope if that happened to me. I don't think that was the point the cartoon was trying to make but still. I love my kids. And they love me.

Miss 5 sat on my lap tonight and gave me a cuddle and said "I just don't want to ever ever let you go."

And I don't want her to either. I don't want any of them to. But I do. Because I want them to experience anything and everything. I want them to feel ultimate joy and happiness, and much as I don't want them to experience pain and sadness, I know that they will but I just hope that they know that they can come to me in any circumstances and I will be there for them, always.

I know. They are 5, 4 and 3. It is hardly something to worry about.

And I'm not. But I am thinking about it. Because the past 5 years have flown. And before I know it they will be independent beings, controlling their own destinies.

I think I'm getting a bit deep tonight. It happens sometimes.

Sometimes you really just have to stop. Collaborate. And listen.

And just like that you are now singing Vanilla Ice. Or not. If you are me you are. Pretty catchy beat....

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