And no, those effects were not altogether pleasant.
Oh but wait, you don't know what happened last night. I apologise. Let me inform you of the hell that was my evening.
It began not unlike many other evenings. We had some dinner, someone spilled a drink, someone else tried to make a face while holding food in the impression of a chipmunk whilst another laughed, forcing the compacted cheek food to be expelled in a less than elegant manner.
The bath was enormous. It wasn't my fault. It was Master 3's. He was on the loo. And he needed me. And I just so happened to forget that I had started running the bath before he went in there. It was ok, you needn't fret, it wouldn't have overflowed. Miss 5 was kneeling beside it, stark naked, eyes as wide as they could go as the level of the bath climbed higher and higher.
By the time I finally got in there I didn't see how the kids could fit in there without my creating some form of indoor tsunami. They managed. Just.
And water was flung, and there were arguments over who was to captain the green boat. Just another day.
Then bed. Albeit a tad later than usual because Master 3 chose a particularly long book to read, and opted to include sound effects too.
Thankfully he fell asleep fairly quickly, unlike usual.
The others, no. They remained awake. And in that regard it was, as mentioned, not unlike many other nights.
Until.
And let me interject here by saying that yesterday the temperature was around the 40 mark. Ish.
Until the power cut out. And all the fans stopped. And the one air conditioner stopped. And the lights went off. And the washing machine stopped. And I think my heart kinda chimed in there too for just a bit.
"Mummy the fan isn't working anymore."
"I know baby, the power's gone off."
"Why?"
"I don't know baby."
And so rather than continuing yelling from the kitchen I went in to see them and make sure they were okay. They were.
And then it began.
"Does the washing machine work?"
"No."
"Does the microwave work?"
"No."
"Does the oven work?"
"Yes, it's on gas."
"Does the kettle work?"
"No."
"Does the tv work?"
"No. Baby, anything that runs on electricity doesn't work. The power is out."
"What about the water?"
"Yes, the water works."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why."
Seriously child. Shoosh. I'm in internal panic mode because I can't remember where the torch is.
So I start to panic. Internally, as mentioned, so the girls wouldn't sense my worry.
And I decided to open the door to let some air in, just in time to see a neighbour walking past. I quizzed him as to whether he also had lost power. Yes. Yes he had. Fabulous. And apparently it was not unusual. (*cue Tom Jones)
Apparently the usual time was 1.5 hours. Great. Miss 5 was starting school today. Always great to start school on a day after a night where you have had little to no sleep. In a sauna.
So I did the best I could. I set up little tea light candle stations all over the house to cast at least a small amount of light. And I soaked face washers and mopped the girls down. Then soaked a sheet and hung it over the door. And then I went into the lounge room, put my phone down (as I had been holding it the entire time to use it as a torch), and went into the kitchen. There I stood, staring at the wall. Thinking.
Oh. My. God. Please let the power come back on.
At different intervals I would go and check on the awake ones, rewet their face washers and tell them that no I did not know why the power went off and no I did not know when it would be back on.
Most of these times I took the phone with me, as mentioned, to use as a torch.
That was until I put it down. And walked out of the room.
And then couldn't remember where I had put it. So brightly thought to myself 'That's ok, I'll just use the torch on my phone to find it.'
Not my brightest thought for the evening. Pardon the pun.
Anyway, long story short, many many hours later our power was restored. And I stood on the sofa in front of the air conditioning, unable to do anything but stand there.
I eventually crawled into bed at some ungodly hour. And it wasn't long before Miss 4 crawled in beside me. And proceeded to spin around, 80s breakdancer style, asleep, in order to be able to repeatedly kick me in the face.
And when Master 3 came in and asked me if he could watch tv, I advised him that yes he could, but it wouldn't work.
"Why?"
"Because it is 3.30 in the morning."
*Master 3 runs off to try.
*Master 3 returns.
"It didn't work."
No. Kidding.
So I told him to get back to bed, which he did for approximately 14 seconds, enabling me to get into the lounge room, turn the air conditioning back on and lie on the sofa.
I convinced him to lie down with me, and after a who knows how long while he fell asleep.
I used that opportunity to escape back to the bedroom, flicking the air conditioning off on the way out, and went back to the hell that was my bed and the incessant face kicking of Miss 4.
Yes. I know. It would have been hard for anyone to choose between being kicked in the head and head butted in the face. Both marvellous options for 4am. Neither terrifically conducive to sleep.
And so we come to where I began. The effects in the morning.
I managed to get everyone ready remarkably quickly. I have no idea how and I can probably never ever replicate it.
Still, this morning it happened and we were out the door such that drop off occurred at daycare at 8.15am. My plan was working.
It was working for approximately 20 seconds before Miss 5 asked where we were going.
I replied that I thought it would be nice if she and I got a babycino and a coffee before her first day back.
I did not anticipate that this would be met with screams. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!"
Good. God. Child. Seriously??
Yes. Seriously.
I don't wish to relive the next ten minutes, so cut to McDonalds. Babycino ordered.
Time checked. Crap. Not the relaxing time I wanted to spend. We would be rushed.
I stressed to Miss 5 that she should drink hastily, but carefully as we didn't have time to pop home and change her dress if she spilled her babycino.
I think the babycino tipped over on the word spilled and I noticed it hit her dress on the "cino" sound.
In record time we were in the bathrooms and under the sink, then the hand-dryer, and any observers would have thought my reaction was perhaps a little highly strung. But they have NO idea what I had been through and frankly they can go to hell if they're gonna judge me. Live my life and THEN see what you think. If they had have known what the previous 12 hours had held they would have handed me a vodka. Then and there.
Dress cleaned and dried in record time and we head to school.
Take a quick photo, kiss and a hug, wish her a great day, then off to work for the busiest day of my working life.
And welcome. To. My. World.
No comments:
Post a Comment