Fail.

I find myself thinking that when mornings go less like Monday of this week and more like today or yesterday.

The kids don't do as they are asked, breakfast might be spilled, too much time is spent watching television, toys are taken out and not put away, things are thrown, whatever. It is not a "good" morning.

But is it a fail? Really?

I think we are too hard on ourselves, generally, us parents.

We expect too much of ourselves and our children.

Here's the thing. They are children. It's in their job description to be erratic and moody and loud and sometimes downright obnoxious. But guess what? Most other kids are the same. It is not a failure on our part as parents. Not at all.

How we react to the behaviour of our children however. That is a different story.

I'm making a conscious effort not to yell. It is difficult. Predominantly because in order to be heard over three rabbling loud children one often must yell, simply to raise above the roar that is their exuberant little noise.

But I hate it. I hate yelling. I hate making noise louder than that which is already being made.

So I'm trying not to. Some days I succeed. Some days I fail. And there is where I'm allowed to say fail. Because it is a specific goal I am trying to achieve. To not yell.

To say that an entire morning is a fail, much as it might be a catchy little expression, is simply untrue, and unjust to all concerned.

Society is hard enough on us as it is. If we work, as parents, we are chastised for not staying home. If we stay home, as parents, we are chastised for not working.

We are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

Why add to the condemnation of society by beating yourself up too?

Don't.

Just don't.

Allow yourself bad days. Because without the bad days the good ones wouldn't seem so good.

There needs to be contrast.

Imagine how boring life would be if every day was the same.

Now, think about the last time you had a day with your child or children that was exactly the same as another. You can't. Because it isn't possible. Whether it is something you do or feel or think or don't do or don't feel or don't think, no two days are the same.

So you yelled today. It's a day. Tomorrow there is another. Try not to yell tomorrow. Dwelling on things that have already happened achieves nil except for having a detrimental effect on your psyche.

Move. On.

So tomorrow, whatever the morning brings it will bring. I will attempt, yet again, not to yell. If I am unsuccessful, I will simply keep trying again the next day.

But in between that I'll make sure that my kids know how much I love them, I will play with them and cuddle them, and they will cuddle me right back.

And I might build a lego tower with them.

Or I might play trains.

Or I might watch them running around.

Or I might not.

I have no idea.

I'm making a conscious effort to allow things to happen, and hope that I can put myself in their shoes, if only just for a little while. If I was them, and I was looking up at me, how would I be feeling?

Makes you think hey?

That was a bit of a deep one now wasn't it……..