why parents didn't just take their kids to the park all the time. I mean, it's free, it gets the kids to run around and get exercise and fresh air, and socialise with other kids, and build up the immunity when they lick trees and all that jazz.
That was before I had kids.
I love the park. I do. I love it when the kids and I find a fabulous park with heaps of climbing equipment and grass and shade and sunlight and benches on which to sit and have a snack and not too many cars whizzing past at breakneck speed.
However. The park is not such a relaxing experience. Oooooh no. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Most parks have 2 swings. I have 3 children.
Even if there were 3 swings, 1 of my children is unable to self propel.
Climbing equipment is fabulous. But it is also able to be fallen off in the blink of an eye.
There could be 1000 pieces of equipment and I could put money on the fact that 2 or 3 of the kids will want to play on or with the exact same piece of equipment at the exact same time.
I have lost count of the number of times I have seen running, laughing, happy children not watching where they are going proceed to collide with one another and literally smash the happiness out of one another. It's as though it happens in slow motion too - it is a physical impossibility for me to get from where I am, or even thrust my voice that far that effectively, to prevent the clash of heads/shoulders/hips/any other relevant body part that serves to brutally remove the joyous sounds of laughter to be replaced by squealing. Or worse. Silence. And the longer it is silent the worse the scream will be when it eventually erupts.
We have had injuries from a slide that was just that little bit slipperier than normal, thus propelling master 2 several metres off the end and into a small protrusion in the ground.
We have had injuries from a child who, thrilled at the sensation of making the swing go by herself, forget that both hands are required and free one hand to wave..... that didn't end so well.
We have had situations where sheer joy turns to unabated terror when the spinning ride goes from being a "fun" speed to being an "oh my god I think I'm going to die if you don't get me off this right this instant" speed.
And then there is when you have to leave. Countdowns sometimes work. Giving fair warning, explaining what will happen next etc etc.
Sometimes they don't.
Sometimes you are there, a lone parent, with a 5 year old, a 4 year old and a nearly 3 year old each screaming in different octaves and attaching themselves in whatever way possible to a different item of play equipment, refusing to move and most definitely not leaving. And convincing everyone in the neighbourhood with their screams that you must be intending to kill them immediately they let go of said piece of equipment.
And it's even better when the park is surrounded by houses. Because then, not only do the playground visitors receive prime seats, but every house and family in said square is able to hear, and see out their windows no doubt. And they would witness me, 2 year old in football hold, 4 year old being half-dragged across the grass, screaming that I have forgotten the 5 year old who stands stoic in the playground screaming "NOOOOOOOOO" as I "gently place" the other 2 in the car and close the door in order to go and retrieve the final child.
I think of it as my helping in a way. For that moment, every other family, every other parent, is thinking "wow, my day really isn't going that badly at all."
And so next time you see kids going off their nut at the park, or the supermarket, or in a car park, or near a shop, or anywhere, just think. Their parents may have asked them to do something so hideously unreasonable as to get into the car. Or say please. Or they may have simply breathed in a way which disturbed the little person at that particular time.
And don't get me started on what happens if you dare give a child the wrong colour bowl at breakfast.......
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