Before I was a parent

I had no idea just how many things could impede a young person's journey to the land of nod.

I'll share. Just a few.

"I need to tell you something." This may or may not be true.

"I'm going to vomit." This may or may not be true. Tread very carefully with this one.

"I'm hot."

"I'm cold."

"I want my blanket on please."

"I want my blanket off please."

And yes, I realise these past two COULD very easily be done by the child saying them. But that would be too easy.

"She is keeping me awake."

"I just thought of something that happened last year and it made me sad."

"I forgot to tell you that I cut my finger and now I need a bandaid."

"I can see a bug."

"I can hear a bug."

"I can't see any bugs."

"I need some water."

"I need to go to the toilet."

"I want a hug." I always fall for this one, cos, well, they won't want hugs in the future and I'll take what I can get now. Which is a lot.

"What time is it?"

"Do we go to school tomorrow?"

"I really really want you."

"I have a sore eye/ear/nose/leg/cheek/head/something."

"You forgot to give me a sticker."

"I wish I had a sticker."

"Why did she get a sticker today and I didn't?"

"I'm hungry."

And my all time fave, said from bed, 30 odd minutes after said child had gone to bed - "I'm tired."

Bedtime is exhausting.

Multiply the above by three and that's my evening. As a general rule. Unless something tires them out so much that they fall straight to sleep. I'm yet to discover what that is but on the balance of probabilities that thing must exist.

And then it isn't over because I'll go and check on them, as I did last night, and I'll see Miss 5 standing bolt upright in the middle of the room, horror movie style.

I know they sleepwalk.

I know I should expect these things.

It still freaks the living crap out of me. In a big way.

So then my blood pressure is right up and I can't sleep. Not that I would anyway because it was before 11.30pm and something always happens at 11.30pm, as I believe I have mentioned previously.

I would just like to say that today I bought undies. Little boy undies.

That's right. At the risk of being an over sharer, Master 3 is now an undies boy. Well, he will be as of tomorrow once I start putting him in undies. But he has done SUCH a good job this week with the toilet training that I'm going to give it a burl. And we shall see what happens.

Nearly 6 years I have been changing nappies. At one point for 3 babies. Oh. My. God. I can't believe that the end is in sight…. it really truly is……

And then next year Miss 4 will start school and the year after Master 3 will and then all my babies will be at school.

And holy crap when the hell did they grow up?

The curse of parenthood. You rejoice when they achieve new milestones and learn new things.

And you lament the fact that your babies are becoming less like babies and more like little people.

Cuddle them. Often. Make them laugh. Cuddle them again.

Cos they're growing up faster than you can possibly believe.