On be heighties.

"I beg your pardon?"

"On be heighties!" Miss 4 pronounced with great gusto as she placed her barbie doll at the helm of the barbie cruise ship and placed the flag atop the rails.

What. The actual. Hell.

Ooooooh. Ok.

"Do you mean Arrggh me hearties??"

Miss 4 looks at me stoically.

"Well I say on be heighties. ON BE HEIGHTIES!!!!!!"

Good on her for sticking to her ground.

Today was a weird one really. The kids were, well, I am not quite sure how to put it. Possessed comes to mind.

I had promised them we would go to a new McDonalds that has opened up not far from us, and we had intended to go last night but didn't so I said I would take them today.

We nearly didn't go. That was the behaviour this morning. Naughty? Not so much. Obstinate and ignorant? Ding ding ding, give the man a cigar.

After much cajoling and god only knows what else, we finally managed to get out of the house.

We hit the Maccas. I don't like McDonalds. As a general rule. But seriously, the chips were fabulous. I mean, seriously fabulous. How can chips taste so different between places? I put it down to the oil in which they were fried. But holy moly, they were amazing. And I'm not even a huge fan. But I couldn't stop eating them. They were brilliant.

And then there was the play area. It is a castle. With a big twirly slide. The kids went up. And down. And up. And down. Ad. Nauseum.

Every one of them hit their head at some stage throughout the visit. There were tears. But there were far more laughs.

I laughed a lot actually. I love plonking myself at the bottom of a tube slide and seeing the faces of my babies as they pop out of the tube down the end, and hearing the gleeful laughs as they skip off up to embark upon the slide again. And again. And again. I even managed to snap a photo of Master 3 in his happy skip mood. It appears that he is levitating. Taking into account events later in the day, I would not put it past him that levitating he was. Possession does strange things to children.

But I digress. The visit to the new Maccas was great. The kids had fun. I had fun.

And then I decided to take them to the supermarket.

Big babow.

What. The hell. Was I thinking.

Yes, that's the way, get them hyped up at a playground and then expect them to behave for half an hour while you shop for essentials. Lesson 1. Babow. Again. Fail.

But I trucked on. Even though Master 3 decided he only wanted to walk backwards. Or hang off the trolley, laughing insanely and throwing his head back, knocking things off the shelf when he did. And for the record no, he is not allowed to stand on the side of the trolley. He does however jump there randomly. At which time I stop the trolley and warn him of the possible effects of his continued presence on said trolley. At which time he looks at me, throws his head back, laughs insanely and jumps off, running down the aisle. Fabulous.

The journey was not supremely successful. It just so happened that there were several older couples shopping today. And by older I mean much older. When Master 3 put his head down, hands out front as if to charge and started running, I honestly thought the fellow behind the trolley Master 3 was aimed towards was going to try to throw said trolley against the shelves. He did become quite vocal. Not in a nasty way. But still.

And there were discussions amongst the kids. Of an animated variety. About who would hold the shopping list. Yes. Our lives are that exciting.

So we had to alternate. Every 2 aisles we would swap who would hold the shopping list. And who would take the item off the shelf. And seriously. By aisle 9 I lost it and told them all I was going to get a new naughty list and put them all on it. This brought the cries of "nooooooooo" and "I'll be goooooood".

Yeah. Nah. They weren't.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. In fact, by the end I was running. I had put Master 3 in the little seating part, he was talking, I was just saying "stop", the girls were doing who knows what and I was telling them to keep up because I just wanted to get out of there. I just. Wanted. To. Get. Out. Of. There.

That was me telling myself to breathe.

I do believe that this most recent shopping trip contained the most words ever spoken in that space of time by my three children combined.

Do not take children to McDonalds and expect to survive grocery shopping afterwards.

There endeth the lesson.