Vomit at me.

"I beg your pardon?"

"VOMIT AT ME!!!!!" beckoned Master 3.

I was trying to work out what the hell he was on. And then I remembered. A few weeks ago I was messing about and told him I was going to vomit (which I wasn't) and then did a mock vomit sound at him, inducing immense laughter.

So that was it.

"VOMIT AT ME!!!! And pretend to be a dinosaur."

Oh. Of course. The natural combination.

And being the parent that I am, I actually attempted to do so. And it apparently worked because Master 3 was rolling on the floor with laughter and wanted me to keep doing it. So a couple of vomit dinosaurs later I left him sprawled on the lounge room floor and went in search of something to lubricate my now hideously dry throat. I must say, I do feel sorry for any dinosaur that had a bit of gastro or vomiting bug, because my throat was mighty parched after just a few episodes.

Now there is one thing about which I have not spoken a lot. But it is something that is a huge part of any parent's life.

Poo.

Yes. I know. Disgusting.

I promise I won't rabbit on.

But Master 3. Seriously.

"Muuuuuuum!! Come and look at this!!!!!"

"Yes…."

"It looks like a fish!!!!! And it came out so fast!!! It just all felled out of my bottom and there it is!!! Now go away so you don't smell it."

Ok mate. Thanks for that. *shudder* I just can't wait until they are that little bit older so I am no longer invited to view the offerings of the day.

Miss 4 was doing some crafty stuff today. She was making herself an envelope to go with the paper creation she had also made, with the aid of glue, sparkly things and tape.

She practically covered the entire envelope in tape. Pity the poor person to whom said envelope is given. They'll need a chainsaw to get through it.

And I think she realised that.

"Muuuuuuuum….. there's too much tape on here…"

"How did it get there?"

"I put it there."

Ok then.

Moving on.

Master 3 has a Buzz Lightyear outfit. It is a little top and some inflatable wings. It also has a little hat (or "hair" as he calls it) which has mysteriously vanished for now.

So Master 3 was dressed up in his Buzz Lightyear outfit today, wings and top, and undies. No pants. Who needs pants when you're Buzz Lightyear!!!!

And I may have mentioned that Master 3 is off his head. Just a tad. And runs everywhere. Often.

So he was running. And quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen was him quickly turn himself sideways and "side run" because his wings didn't fit through the door. I was actually crying. Hilarious. He'd obviously had an encounter with the doorway that left him a little rattled and wasn't going to let that happen again.

The odds of someone refusing lunch in a household of three children under 6 is fairly high. What is surprising is that the child who has chosen the fare for the lunch is the one that often refuses it. Why? Because it is in the wrong bowl. Or has been cut wrongly. Or the spoon is beside the bowl and not in it. Or there is no cheese. Or there is cheese. Or he wanted to sit in that seat. Or she wanted the OTHER sauce. Or there is no water on the table. Or there is water on the table.

Life is never dull. Ever.

Nor is it quiet. Except when we're playing the quiet game. Or Dead Fish. I think I'll encourage those games a bit more.

Quiet. So nice. I have it now in fact. And can almost feel my shoulders beginning to relax…..

I reckon I'll be just about perfect by the time the first sleepwalker visits….. sensational…..

Oh, and I got all the washing folded!!!!!! HURRAH!!!!!!!! I know. Small achievement. Though massive. I mean massive.

Unless you have three kids you don't know just how many clothes three kids go through. Especially when it is dress up day. Which today apparently was. Miss 5 was Rapunzel. And put on every piece of jewellery she and her sister collectively own (jewellery meaning plastic and wood necklaces and bracelets and whatnot), but seriously, it would have weighed a tonne. That may have been a contributing factor to her mood…. yes… let's put it down to that…. not to the internal drama queen that is morphing from day to day, from hour to hour, and that the other day said "blah blah blah" to me. Fabulous. She's 5. God help me when she's a teenager. And Miss 4 too. And Master 3.

Oh crap. What have I created????

Give. Me. Strength.