Apple stickers.

They're everywhere.

I don't mean stickers shaped like apples. I mean the stickers you find on apples when you buy them. They are little ovals or circles and tell you the sort of apple and have some sort of code on them.

Well. They are all over my house. Because my darling children discover them, whilst they are eating an apple, remove said sticker, and feel the need to ask any random piece of furniture or wall to assist them in removing it from their finger once it is removed from the apple.

Joy.

I found one on the bathroom sink today. And then I saw three under the bench top. That was a fluke - a mere few degrees either way and I simply would not have seen them.

I wonder if I used to do things like that as a kid? I do know there were plenty of things I did about which my parents had little idea though.. so surely I would have…

I do recall the famous gherkin tossing episode of 1982. My brother and I were sitting at the table and had been given the wonderful luxury of a McDonald's hamburger. And of course inside there was gherkin, which neither of us liked. My brother went to flick it off his finger and it flicked upwards. And hit the roof. Where it stayed. And so I did the same. Voila. Gherkin roof. Hysterical laughter. Mum and dad were not informed of this little episode.

My brother and I used to go and visit my dad at his work when we were in our late teens. We'd go into one of the offices and sit and have a chat, and on one of these occasions my brother noticed a small hole in one of the roof panels. And he set himself a challenge. He would attempt to flick an elastic band through the hole.

Now over the space of the next three or four years we became quite talented at roof elastics.

But it wasn't until many years later that our work paid off. For our father decided one day to fix the roofing panel that was broken. And at home, as he was recounting this experience, it was all we could do not to erupt into fits of laughter when he expressed immense confusion and concern that when he removed the roofing panel, hundreds and hundreds of elastic bands fell to the floor. Now that, my friends, is gold.

Miss 5 is an affectionate little thing. She will run up to me, give me a great big hug, and say "I just want you" and squeeze me tightly.

The other day we were having a cuddle and she said she just wanted to stay with me.

"You can stay with me baby" I replied.

"How long can I stay with you?"

"As long as you like baby."

"How long do you want me to stay with you?" she asked.

And I answered "Forever."

She looked at me. She giggled. And said "Nooooo" and giggled again.

So I said "Why not??"

And she leaned over and whispered in my ear "Because you might die."

Ah kids. Freaking out their parents since the dawn of time.