I am. And I actually said that same thing, out loud, on several occasions today.
I'll give you a little "preface" to today. If you ask me for how many hours I think the day went, my answer would be 73. Honestly. I kid you not.
It was, without a doubt, the longest day in human history.
It commenced in a not dissimilar fashion to other days, with my turning to my right to see Miss 4 asleep beside me, not too long after that Master 3 crawled in with me on the other side, and a short while later Miss 5 coming in asking if she could have breakfast.
Little did I know that time would effectively stand still and the day would drag more than the ass of a dog with no hind legs.
Don't get me wrong, the day wasn't all bad. We had some really wonderful moments. There were lots of hugs, and lots of tickles, and a fair amount of games.
And Master 3 loves his "row row" wherein I lie on the ground, he sits on my belly, holds my hands and uses my arms as oars, and sings. "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to to scream AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!"
His scream. Is loud. Incredibly loud. Oh god it was so loud. Over. And over.
So I get up and sit on the chair for a bit, just to get away from the screams. And he follows me, sits on my lap, looks at me, smiles, then farts so loudly the house shakes, laughs, gets off and runs away, screaming, a la Braveheart.
But he didn't have his sword and shield at that time. Oh no. That came later. And I helped him find them. Oh you idiot. Yes. I know. Sue me.
I had a lot of coffee today. I wouldn't have survived without it.
On about my 5th cup I heard odd sounds coming from the foyer. It took me a good 3 or 4 minutes to build up the courage to go out and see what the noise was.
Picture this. Three children. Lying on the ground in the foyer. Kind of like the Mercedes Benz logo. 2 wearing flippers. One holding a fire engine. Swimming.
Oh yes.
Welcome to my world.
There was much singing. To my dismay the Collingwood football club theme song or whatever you call it seemed to get a bit of a run tonight. That is the father's team. Horrific, I know. But all I can do is sing the Geelong song as much as I can and hope it sinks in. It has, to some extent, although the words sometimes morph into something else. It happens with other songs too. Master 3 came out singing "Ring a ring a rosy, octopus a posy." Well, not far off I guess. When you think about it.
I did get a lot done, even though I was occupied with heavily pocked kids for much of the time. I managed to cut Master 3's hair so that was a bonus. Except when he wouldn't stop talking as I was cutting it, with clippers, and so he ended up ingesting a fair amount of the hair. As you do.
And then off he ran and came running back in again holding a beanie. "Is this my beanie??"
"Yes, it is."
"Why doesn't it have Spiderman on it?"
"Because it isn't a Spiderman beanie."
"Oh." Runs off screaming.
We made pipe cleaner bracelets today too. They were actually pretty cool. Not that I'll wear mine to work, but still. Pretty cool. And occupied at LEAST 43 minutes of the day. GOLD.
When Play School came on the telly I nearly cried with joy.
And then of course at "window" time I was summonsed to pick which window I thought it would be. I love the arch window so I very often pick that, but sometimes I'll shake it up and choose the square or circle window. Call me old fashioned but I don't remember the diamond window growing up. I reckon they added that one in. So to me it is always an outsider. Call me windowist, I don't care. Just like those new bloody Wiggles. Seriously?? And don't even get me started on when they replaced the cast of Hi-5.
I gave all the kids a bubble bath tonight. And it was after I put them in it that I realised it was pretty stupid being that Master 3 gets eczema and that is usually aggravated by foreign soapy stuff.
Agh. Typical.
But they loved it.
So much so that they didn't want to get out. And quite obviously were perturbed when I did get them out. Master 3 I dried off and sent off to the lounge room to stay warm near the heater. He didn't make it. He much preferred to stand in the hallway, stark naked, look at me and say "I just did a wee". On the carpet.
Fabulous. The day. Just. Gets. Better.
And so we went through the obligatory fights at teeth time and god knows what else.
And then once they were in bed the doonas and pillows hit the floor so they could make "bed angels" flailing around like fish out of water.
And I have never, ever been so glad to hear the sounds of sleep as I was tonight.
Today was officially the longest day in history.
And tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.
Give. Me. Strength.
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