with these kids of mine.
I make them food. I put said food on their plates. I put the exact same food on my plate. We sit. They don't want their food, they want mine.
Yes. I know. Mind boggling.
It. Is. The. Same.
Or, if they don't want my food and are happy to eat theirs, they will do so on the proviso that I feed them.
Are. You. Serious?
No. I will not feed you. You are 5. You are 4. You are 3. Eat your food.
What did I do tonight? I fed the 4 and 3 year old. Why? Because my ears were going to bleed if the noise didn't stop.
You gotta pick your battles.
I would have thought that over time the novelty of floor food would have worn off. If you are unfamiliar with floor food it is that food which drops from the plate or bowl, or hand if wandering when one should not be whilst having food in hand, and that ends up, funnily enough, on the floor.
Now there are people in this world who will not eat food once it touches the ground and who will not let their children eat food once it touches the ground. Me, well, once I saw my then 18 month old lick a tree, I figured food that had been resting for only a couple of seconds on freshly vacuumed carpet was most certainly not going to kill her.
But what is most disturbing is when your child comes up to you and produces a morsel of something, and you literally cannot remember the last time you served up that particular food, and you watch, as if in slow motion, as the child puts the piece of random long-time unknown floor food into their mouth, unable to make the distance from where you are to where said child is in time to prevent the ingestion of god only knows what from anyone's guess how long ago.
Utterly. Disgusting.
I'm quite lucky none of my kids were ever random non-food eaters though. By that I mean they didn't attempt to eat envelopes, or bark, or stones or dirt. They have, however, been guilty of theft. Food theft. Hilariously evident food theft. It is very hard for a 2 year old to deny having eaten the 'missing' chocolate when his face has become a deep shade of brown. And yes, he was 2 at that time. I haven't forgotten he turned 3. This time. I have on many occasions UNTIL now. But now is not one of them. But thanks for paying attention.
I don't eat sweets. As a general rule. Why? First of all I am allergic to a few things, so that automatically rules them out. Secondly, I just find them too sweet. My achilles heel is salty, fatty, amazingly wonderful fried and gloriously crispy foods.... But I digress. Too sweet. And so when the kids have birthday cake or a lolly or an ice cream, they take great pains to say to me "You don't eat this, because it's too sweet" and to be fair, they aren't wrong.
The funny part comes when Master 3 is sitting at the table and, obviously not wanting to eat any more of what is in front of him, looks at me, big puppy dog eyes and says "Mummy, I can't eat this anymore; it's too sweet." Best part? It's pasta. Or a vegemite sandwich. Or eggs.
Nice try little man, nice try. You need a few more years' experience. Then you'll be able to give Miss 4's reasoning as to why she can't finish her dinner.... "I can't eat any more of this because when I was at school today one of the teachers said that if we have too much *insert name of food on plate in front of her* then it can make us sick, and I don't want to get sick, so I can't have any more."
At least she's creative.
And it isn't like anything goes to waste. Miss 5'll eat the leftovers.....she eats more than a grown man..... Sometimes I feel sorry for our dog.... he doesn't get a lot in that regard.....
And once again I find myself having chatted for some time without actually detailing the point which I had intended to make, and, being that a fair amount of time has passed since I commenced writing, that point is no longer with us.
Ah well. I guess it can't have been that important.
Bit peckish now though.....
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