As Mitch Hedberg once said, it's great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
But with small children, practical it is not.
And it is the second hardest substance on earth, when set. Second only to diamonds. In fact you could probably cut glass with rice that has fallen from a 3 year old's plate onto the edge of the chair, the carpet, or, in some wonderfully random cases, the wall.
Cleaning up is futile. You should probably just move.
What a shame it is cheap and all the kids love it. I have to keep serving it to them. And put up with the aftermath.
Aftermath. Before I had children I would never have thought to use that word in relation to children. But my god it is appropriate, at so many times, in so many ways.
My child ate baked beans. The aftermath was horrific.
My child discovered my makeup. Aftermath.
My children (yes, plural) found where I hid the textas. Aftermath. Devastating.
My children had an entire easter bunny for breakfast on Easter Sunday. Never before has there been such an aftermath as the enormous sugar rush and subsequent come down as followed on from this most unfortunate of events.
Anyway. You get the gist.
You wonder what they are thinking when they play games. Sometimes they are logical games, role plays, going to the shops, or school, or doing a little show.
Sometimes they are more obscure. Miss 4 piped up with "Hey, let's play kick the hand!"
Seriously. Do you really think that is going to end well? For anyone?
The other day I was doing the dishes and heard "I'm going to kill you!" screamed out from the bedroom. Of course I investigated. I was assured that they were just playing. I tried to emphasise that playing "I'm going to kill you" is not the best game as we don't want to kill one another, we love one another.
Miss 4 looked at me stoically. "It's just a game mum."
Yep. I know. But still. Tis just a tad bit terrifying.
We had an interesting conversation in the car the other day.
Master 3. "Mum, one day can we go to the moon?"
"No baby, it's a bit far."
"Maybe we could go in a rocket ship?"
"Actually yes, you could go, if you decide to become an astronaut when you grow up."
"Mum?"
"Yes baby."
"When I grow up I want to be an astronaut."
"Ok baby."
Miss 4 joins in. "I want to be an astronaut too."
"You can be whatever you want. Anything at all. Except a jockey." (long story)
So Master 3 wants to be an astronaut, helicopter pilot and a football player.
Miss 4 currently wants to be a teacher or a doctor.
Miss 5 still maintains she wants to be an artist.
And I do support them, in whatever they want to do (except if they want to be a jockey in which case I will talk them out of it with every inch of my being).
Tomorrow is a special day. Yes, it is Anzac Day. But it is also Miss 5's birthday. She will become Miss 6.
I can't believe it. I just can't. I remember the day she was born, and the Aussie music marathon playing on the radio, and essentially I am there. Now. It has just happened.
And here she is. Nearly 6. In grade 1. And such a beautiful baby with quite possibly the most gentle soul of any child I have ever met.
Everyone we saw today heard. "It's my birthday tomorrow!!!!!!" Even people who weren't in the near vicinity…. "Excuse me…. EXCUSE ME!!!!!!" *waits for them to turn around* "It's my birthday tomorrow!!!!!!" *massive smile*
Adorable.
We are going away tomorrow in celebration of her birthday, and a belated celebration for my 40th. It will be wonderful. But cold. Freezing cold.
And so I have now decided that all our future excursions (save for the one we will take to the snow one day) will be in temperate climates. Seriously. The amount of clothes we are bringing is insane!
So I must away. I have not yet completed the packing and in approximately 12 hours we will be on the road. Miss then 6 (*sniff*) will have been given her presents, which I hope she loves, and we will be on our way to celebrate with family and friends.
And to all those going away, and even if you aren't, stay safe. Don't drink and drive. Don't drive angry (groundhog day flashback) and be good to one another.
Just remember, we're all in this life together. Why make it more difficult than it has to be?
So tomorrow do something for someone. It could be as small as opening a door for them. Or offering a smile to an icy reception. That person may be down on life and your smile may be all it takes for them to see that there is joy in this world.
Be happy. Be kind.
And above all, be true to yourself.
I'll see you when I get back.
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