I am constantly amazed

at how much I am able to get done when the kids are away for the day.

I had 6 hours. 6 hours kid-free. The day started early, as per usual.

After breakfast I made up another batch of the dough for the handprint Santas, the same dough that saw miserable failure occur on last attempt.

Whilst the kids were away I baked them. They failed miserably. Again. My thought is that it is due to the fact that the "recipe" calls for it to be baked at 100 celcius and my oven doesn't even start until 120. So they swelled, these Santa heads.

And 2013 shall be known as the year in which Santa had a reaction to bees. Tis the only logical explanation for the lumps all over his handprint head.

Anyway, as soon as the kids left I got into the car and hi-tailed it into the city to pick up the last of the Christmas laybys. I managed to fluke a 15 minute free parking spot literally around the corner from where I needed to go. Amazing. Truly amazing.

So off I ran (well, I didn't run, I walked briskly) to the shop and straight up to the layby counter. I paid off the last $40 (woohoo!!) and they gave it to me. A massive box. And two smaller boxes.

"Would you like a bag?"

"Um, yes, I think that would be a good idea."

On the positive side of things, I managed to bring a smile to many peoples' faces as I lugged this massive bag, which in actuality was approximately three quarters of my size, back to the car. I loaded it up with a grunt (literally) and slothed back into the car. It took me a good few minutes to catch my breath.

Note to self: get fit.

And off I went, back home again. By the time I made it home it was about 1.5 hours since I had initially left.

Then I got all the presents out from their stash places all over the house and sorted them into piles, one each for Miss 5, Miss 4 and Master 3, and one "group" pile.

Now I do things a little differently than most. Santa brings presents to each child, but there are also "share" presents. These include things like DVDs and games, and things that are very obviously utilised between the kids equally rather than one person having ownership over them.

That is the reason the box was so enormous today. Because there was a Barbie Cruise Ship. The girls also got a Barbie and Master 3 got a Ken. And then there is the Cruise Ship. It is enormous. It opens out to 3.5 feet wide.

I had to get it. Why? Because at the July sales it was reduced from $198 to $48. Yes. You read correctly. A saving of $150. And I justified it by saying that I couldn't afford it at $198 but it would be a $198 toy SO much cheaper, and it was big enough that all three kids could play with it at once.

Perfect.

So that is the centre of the "share" pile anyway.

Now I'll let you hazard a guess as to how long it took to wrap these presents.

And I will interject here to say that first thing this morning I stripped all the kids' beds in order to wash their sheets, donnas and mattress protectors. Keep that in mind.

So wrapping presents. I'll give you the low down. There are a few things in life at which I excel. There are many things that I can do competently and confidently. There are a few things with which I struggle but I get by. Then there is parking the car and wrapping presents. A massive life ba bow in both regards.

Combine the lack of ability and finesse with the fact that I shake and it becomes a veritable dog's breakfast. I am illogical in the wrapping stakes and often end up with far too much or far too little paper because when it comes to spatial awareness I am about as adept as a fish is at macrame.

Three hours. Three hours I was wrapping presents.

By the end of it I had developed an entirely new respect for those people who stand behind tables at the mall offering to wrap peoples' presents for a paltry gold coin donation. I bow down to them for their neat corners and perfect judgement of paper required, their lining up of patterns and their expert curling of ribbons.

I crashed. And burned. I had to turn the air conditioner on I had got myself into that much of a frenzy.

And then I remembered. I still had to make up all the beds.

Oh joy. I love it when I do stuff like that.

But at least the presents are all done. Wrapped. Ready to rock n roll.

Bring it on Santa. I'm ready…...

Do you want to hold a tooth?

Not something you would anticipate hearing on a regular basis.

Nor would you expect to hear "Here's a rib. Why don't you hold that?"

We went to the museum today. I adore the museum. Simply adore it.

There are several reasons why. First and foremost, being a single mum to three wonderful little folks, well, it is free. As I have the pensioner concession and the kids are kids we don't pay for entry for any of us.

Score.

We pay $16 to park underneath. We could park on the street. However if it rains ba bow. If it is incredibly windy or hot or something ba bow. There is a limit on the time you can stay there.

So we park underneath. $16 well spent.

And we take a truckload of food. I made 1.5 loaves worth of sandwiches, brought a few kilos of fruit and several dozen muesli bars and other snacks.

Yes. My children eat a lot.

And so the morning was spent "in anticipation" of going. Which always makes things interesting. Not always in a good way. For there is the choice of outfit. Incredibly important. The girls found it necessary to close their door and try on several different outfits, and when I dared to venture into the foyer I heard screams of "DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!". To which I replied "I'm not looking at you." and wondered how they thought I could see them through a closed door. Perhaps my ruse of being able to see what they are doing at all times is working…….

Eventually we made it to the car. Lots of false starts. Some mine. Mostly theirs. But we got there.

And we started driving.

"Is this the way to get to the museum?"

"Yes baby."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been there before."

"Ooooooh. So why is it this way then?"

"Because it is."

"What's that?"

"What?"

"That."

"Where?"

"There."

"Where there?"

"There. That. The thing."

"Oh yes, that. Much clearer. What?"

"THAT! THERE!!! THE THING!!!"

"WHAT!!!!??? WHERE???????"

"The CRANE."

"Oooooh."

Seriously. I can do many things, but read your mind I cannot.

So we got to the museum, and today we were doing things differently. It wasn't just us. We were meeting friends. Turbo excitement plus.

We got there a bit early so opted to go to the rainforest walk. Now there are ramps to get up and down this rainforest walk. My kids love to run up and down ramps. These ramps were concrete. I suggested that running was perhaps not the best idea as if there was a bit of a stutter in the mechanism then tumble down would come child and come an absolute cropper.

So they agreed to this. The girls I mean. Master 3 was strapped into the pram. Safely. I love the pram. Not just for the keeping child restrained factor but it saves me having to carry bags…..

But I digress.

Girls started running and I reminded them they shouldn't. And so they started walking. Briskly.

Now you may recall they chose their own outfits today. Miss 4 opted for a beautiful little skirt that had layers and layers of chiffon, one atop the other ruffle style.

When this style of skirt is worn whilst power walking it creates an absolutely amazing visual. And so I pushed the pram, watching Miss 4 power wiggling up the ramp in front of me with tears streaming down my face and struggling for air because seriously, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. And the look on Miss 4's face as she did the hairpin turn halfway and saw me smiling so widely and being so happy (albeit laughing at her patootie but she didn't twig to that) was reflective of my happiness, because she saw me being happy and mirrored it times a thousand. It was fabulous.

So we rainforested for a bit and then our friends arrived. There are friends and there are friends. These friends are friends that, well, everyone should have friends like these friends. Because they are genuine. And genuine people are such a rarity in this day and age. And I feel privileged to have these people, big and small, in my life.

The kids all get along brilliantly. Every time we get together. Today was no different. I have a fabulous photo of the four girls hand in hand walking along. Just amazing.

Four hours flew. It really did. There were very few incidents and a great day was had by all. And some great photos were taken to boot.

Once we got home I decided that the lawn did need mowing, and I could no longer hold it off.

I have decided that one can only correctly gauge how hot a day is after one has mowed a large back lawn.

Today was hot. Seriously hot. I had to come in and have a Zooper Dooper (the kids were rapt because of course they got one too) to try and rehydrate and cool off.

I did the front lawn too. That was far quicker than the mammoth back lawn. I do need a whipper snipper though. Another time.

And then we made dough to make santa heads with handprints. The kids loved it, I made decorations with the leftovers, then popped it in the oven.

It is to be baked for 3 hours at 100.

My oven starts at 120.

I forgot they were in it.

4 and a bit hours later I remembered.

Tomorrow we will be making santa heads. Again. Deja vu. At least I know the kids will enjoy it……..

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We went out for coffee today

as we do every Friday.

Although today things didn't go as they usually do.

Firstly we met up with a friend and a little bub instead of going alone (the three of us alone, not me alone, in which case we weren't really alone it was the three of us together, but without another party or two. Yes. I know. Stop laughing at me.)

Usually I will order the babycinos and my coffee and we go and sit down and patiently wait for our drinks whilst having a little bit of a chat and watching the waiters wondering who they are taking that drink to.

Today was not the same.

At all.

I picked up a Coke on my way to the cashier. I never do that.

We got to the cashier and when I ordered my coffee she said three words that almost floored me. In reality these words did take my breath away, quite literally.

"The machine's broken."

"Um, I beg your pardon?"

"The coffee machine is broken. We can do hot chocolates or Chais. That's it."

I looked at my friend with what could only be described as despair, whereupon I said to her "Oh God, the machine's broken. There's no coffee."

I was thrown. I was really thrown.

But at least I had Coke.

So then I had to get bacon, just to make me feel better. And the kids got a muffin. And we sat down.

And the kids ate half my breakfast. As they do.

And Coke is no substitute for coffee.

Aside from that outing we really did very little today. Although it wasn't very little as in absolutely nothing, because today was a high volume cuddle day. I have those sometimes. Some days I just want to hold my kids and squeeze them and never let them go.

So I did that. A bit.

And then we picked up Miss 5 from school, went to the supermarket and got a few things then came home.

For tomorrow is museum day. So we had to get supplies.

Once we were home with said supplies I furnished a massive Tupperware container with tiny little squares of various different sandwich fillings. In sandwich form obviously.

And then made dinner of chicken wings (cooked last night) and an amazing salad (create your own) which went down a treat.

I have a recipe for dough to make santa decorations out of handprints.

I decided to make it tonight so we could paint them over the weekend.

Long story short I didn't have enough salt. I know. Incredibly hard to believe. But true. I have added 2kg of salt to the shopping list.

So I made one batch. One. It was not enough to divide into three. And I couldn't let only 2 of the kids make them, and even then it wasn't enough. And so I thought I would make just my handprint and do the kids' ones tomorrow and then that wasn't going to work.

So we got the cookie cutters out and made decorations for the tree. Stars, hearts, hell, we even did a Miffy.

And they are in baking as we speak. I'm not sure if they will work to be honest. Because they are to be cooked at 100 Celcius. My oven doesn't go below 120 Celcius. What sort of oven starts at 120??? Seriously????? It also means I can't make my special little meringues, which I cook at 90 degrees.

And speaking of ovens that are inferior, who the hell organises a rental inspection the week before Christmas???????

MY BLOODY REAL ESTATE AGENT!!!!!!!

AND they have carefully included a list of all the things they "expect" to be "done" for this inspection. Which includes cleaning said ridiculously stupid oven.

I am far from happy.

And I will make it known that I am far from happy when I speak with them. Particularly considering they have not returned the last two calls I made to them in relation to various different issues.

Hmmm. Insert Marg Simpson groan here.

So tomorrow I am looking forward to a wonderful outing at the museum, and have some fabulous friends joining us too.

Can't wait to tell you all about it….. and I have absolutely no idea which way the pendulum will swing in that regard…… wish me luck…. I could very well need it…….

Some days

things go really well. Smoothly. Without incident.

Those days are rare. Cherish them.

Today was horrific. That is the only word for it.

I started to write about it and deleted it. Then did the same again. Because to be quite honest I just don't want to relive it.

Not that anything monumental happened. There was the 5.30am wakeup from Master 3, the fact that Miss 4 was in my bed, again, and Miss 5 waking up at sparrow's as well. And then the tears at daycare dropping off Master 3 and then the veritable meltdown by Miss 5 when I dropped her at school.

That's all I'll say about it. Because I can't. My eyeballs hurt thinking about it.

I think I just need a break. We all need a break. But I mean a break break. Because I have been doing it all for such a long time, with just a couple of days here and there. And let's face it, when we get the odd day without the kids we don't want to clean do we…..? We want to go out, live it up, enjoy ourselves, do things we can't do with the kids around. Consequently, nothing around the house gets done, we get messy, and time is needed for recovery which could have been used to get things organised but isn't because of the fact that we had to go out and make good use of the very little time we actually get to ourselves.

Or something.

Anyway. I need a holiday.

Or a maid. Slash cook. Slash gardener. Slash driver. Slash anything at all. Just something. Someone.

It would just be nice to not have to do everything is all.

Ok pity party over.

I got free stuff today. I adore free stuff.

How did I get free stuff??

I wrote a letter. Not a complaint. No, a compliment letter. Because it was warranted.

Now I am the first to complain when things are not right. And it isn't just self-serving when I do this. Because I figure if I was in business and something was not right or was causing customers to be dissatisfied then I would want to know. So rather than bitch about it to all my friends and have the company lose potential customers because of 'bad will', I instead opt to pen these thoughts to the manufacturers in question.

Same goes with compliments. Companies should know when they are doing things right, and when customers are supremely satisfied.

I was, so I wrote.

And I received a fabulous parcel of foodie delights which I cannot wait to enjoy!!

So that was the positive part of what was otherwise a bit of a negative day.

Although work I got a lot done so not all bad there.

And I did have a nice salad for lunch.

And the kids ate all their dinner.

So there you go. It wasn't that bad at all really.

Just have to focus on the positives.

I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?

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Have you ever wondered

what it would be like to have three kids under 6?

I'll give you a teeny tiny insight.

Let's start from this morning shall we?

*undefined time*

Miss 4 hops into bed with me and proceeds to crawl under the covers. Some time later she kicks the covers off. With great force. Then turns around and punches me in the face. Asleep. Her. Not me.

*approximately 6.15am*

Miss 5 comes in. "Muuuuuuum. Is it time for breakfast?"

"No."

"Can I turn the Christmas tree lights on please?"

"Yes baby off you go."

Please let her stay out there and put the tv on.

She comes back in. "I turned them on!"

"Good girl, well done. Why don't you go and watch some tv?"

"OK!" and off she runs.

Then I hear Master 3 get up and start walking to my room and then I hear a thud as he walks into the wall.

Yes. Again.

And so he comes over crying and I lift back the covers. "Come on mate, hope in here with me and have a cuddle."

"I've done a poo."

Great. So up I get, and go to change him. May as well check the time and whack the kettle on while I'm up.

6.20am. Fabulous.

So I go back to bed. Miss 4 is everywhere. All over the bed. This isn't going to work. So I go back out to the kitchen and boil the kettle again. And then as I take the first few sips of coffee I remember I was supposed to get a blood test this morning and wasn't supposed to eat or drink anything.

Oops.

So the morning started well. We buzzed around madly, everyone got dressed, shoes and socks on, ready to rock n roll, bags packed and out the door 15 minutes earlier than usual. WOOHOO!! AND we had to because Miss 4 had an excursion today.

So as we are driving to school I tell all the kids what a fabulous job they did this morning, and how by them doing as they were told first time they were asked really helped me and I rabbited on like nobody's business. Because, well, they did well.

We got into the kinder room at daycare. Master 3 decided he would start to become a little sad.

That wasn't the worst of it. He reached towards his eye in a mock rub kind of gesture. But he had his finger out.

As he put his finger directly into his eye I involuntarily shuddered and my neck and shoulders became instantly tense. I then watched and listened, as if everything was in slow motion, as the howls commenced and the tears flowed as Master 3 complained, rather loudly, about his sore eye.

And after about 5 or 10 minutes of my trying to calm him down he then complained of a sore head.

When I explained to him that his sore head was only sore because he was crying about his sore eye, which wouldn't have been sore if he hadn't have poked himself in there in the first place I don't really think he understood.

Now by this stage it was 8.40am. Miss 5 still had to get to school.

And so I left poor little Master 3 sad and crying, which I hate doing. And yes, as I found out later, he had stopped not long after, which he always does, but it doesn't make it any easier leaving him there.

So off to school we went. Walking up to Miss 5's classroom a teacher handed me the jumper she had lost 4 days previously. Score! As we walked into the classroom I was handed the hairbrush that she had left at a diva birthday party several weeks earlier. And to crown off the joys, her water bottle which we thought she had lost was sitting on the table in her classroom.

And so Miss 5 got herself organised and then I walked out the door, alongside the windows, waving at Miss 5 all along the way, as she walked along the inside of the room along the windows waving at me, and as we got to the last window we blew each other kisses.

I don't know if other parents and children do that but I tell you what, I love that Miss 5 loves to do that. And I'll do it until she is 18 if she wants me to. Because she is my baby and I adore her and I always want her to know that.

I'm fairly sure she does.

And to think. All that happened before it even struck 9am……..

The evenings, well, I won't go into detail. I will say one thing though. Miss 5 went to her school bag when we got home and pulled something out of it, putting it less than stealthily behind her back.

And she came up to me, stood in front of me, beaming, and handed me a stick.

I could see her hands were full and I asked her "Did you fill your schoolbag with sticks?"

The response?

"Not my WHOLE bag."

Of course. Silly me.

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The wall got in the way.

Again, tonight.

Last night it was Miss 4, laughing and carrying on and spinning, with me telling her not to spin because she'd hit something, then laughing and carrying on and spinning and thwack. Into the wall. Bounced onto the sofa.

Laughed. Thankfully.

Tonight it was Master 3. It didn't end quite so well. It was preceded by running throughout the house, vocally as per usual, laughing, skipping, giving the odd guffaw and then before you knew it he misjudged the distance whilst trying to flit himself into the girls' room and thwack. Into the wall.

And so I scooped him up, told him that was why I don't like him running so fast through the house, and took him into the kitchen whereupon the frozen peas were applied.

After a short time I had a look. It'll bruise. Nice. Another to add to the current collection of chin, arm, leg, leg, back and a few mosquito bites that have reacted badly to boot.

That probably sounded harsh. Yes, I explained the harsh reality of what had happened, but the entire time I was holding the frozen peas against his melon I was kissing the top of his head and making sure he was ok. Sometimes I forget to add those bits. But rest assured, they are always there. Any time my babies hurt themselves nearly kills me. Well, not literally. But I hate it. I can't stand when they are in pain. Tis awful. I would much rather have myself suffer than them.

I gave him Panadol. He'll have a hell of a headache, that's for sure. Poor little man. And the thing is he'll do it again. With glee. Repeatedly.

I love the notes I find scattered around the house. Miss 5 loves to write and does so whenever she has the opportunity.

Here is just a small selection of the notes I found today.

"To santa, I hope I get some presents do you have me in your book yes or no."

"I love you Christmas Day" (complete with picture of tree, presents, Santa, and 'wind'.

Then there was the note she wrote me when she was staying with he about whom we do not speak over the weekend.

"To mummy I miss you so much. Are you hungry I am hungry Yes I am hungry xxx"

And my favourite?

"Dear mum, I love you so so much."

I do so love my children. Even though sometimes it takes them a veritable eternity to finally get to sleep of an evening. And they come out a bazillion times (no exaggeration, truly….). And they can whine and moan and carry on with the best of them.

But it doesn't matter how much crappy stuff happens, all you need is one positive. One teeny tiny positive. And your heart is instantly filled with the joy and love your babies bring you.

And as if right on cue I hear the sounds of a child stirring. Or falling out of bed.

One or the other.

Suppose I should go check…..

The table's leaking.

"No baby, it isn't leaking. You've spilled your drink. Again."

Every meal time. Every time. Without fail. Someone spills their drink. It may be in the first few seconds after having sat down. It may be well into the meal. But you can put money on the fact that at some point in time, every meal, drink will be spilled.

I have come to the conclusion that mistakes will be made. Quite often. Not by the kids. By us. As parents.

Here are a few things I have learned.

Whatever you are making for dinner is not what they want. Even if they asked for it specifically.

The clothes you have chosen for your child/ren are offensive. They most definitely did not want to wear that outfit, even if it has, up until this point, been their favourite.

Your child will tell you they 'actually' want their sandwich cut into squares mere seconds after you have cut it into triangles. At their request.

When putting your child to bed, if you put their doona on they will want it off. If you leave it off they will want it on.

Don't sing. Ever. Your kids hate it.

Anything, and I mean anything, can be a weapon. Even a marshmallow in the right hands can cause grievous bodily harm. Marshmallow flour in the eye is no picnic.

If you accidentally knock your child's finger with a DVD case, even kissing it better 1000 times will not stop that child from telling total strangers that you hit them with a container.

If you mock "eat up" your child they will have no hesitation in telling people that you bit them.

If you value balance, neatness and order in your world, don't let your children decorate the Christmas tree.

Threats don't work. Bribery does.

Anything you have ever said around the children, ever, has the potential to return, at any given point in time, to be repeated by one or more of these children if it serves their purpose well.

I could keep going. I shall leave it at that for now. But there will be more. Oh yes, there will.

For there is oh so much more.

So much.

Kids. Keeping parents baffled since forever.